Doug's rants, raves & observations on life...

Sunday, April 13, 2008

Anatomy of a hot yoga class

January 15-April 10, 2008: Doug continually promises Joanna that yes, he is going to come to one of her classes. But he continually flakes out and finds random excuses for not going.

5pm, April 10: After a long day at work (damned tax season), Doug decides to actually go, thinking of how good he felt last year after going.

8pm: Realizing that there is no way out, Doug leaves for the studio.

8:20: Arriving, he greets Joanna, uses the bathroom, grabs a mat and lays down.

8:25: Damn, it's hot. But so long as he doesn't move, he won't sweat. He's already drank 1/2 a litre of water; 1/4 left to go!

8:29: It's time to leave.

8:30: Joanna comes in and commences class. Doug knows that she is a very good teacher, so he tries to follow her words and sink into his mat, letting the worries of the world float away.

8:32: The worries do not float away, and the heat is driving Doug insane.

8:40: Joanna instructs the class to raise their arms above our heads, then slowly lower them to our hearts.

8:42: After doing this twice, Doug is exhausted. There is a stream of sweat running down into his eyes. The room is blurry and spinning.

8:50: Holding poses? Forget about it. Doug realizes there is no way he can magically hold his foot to his inner thigh, and ends up holding it in place, despite the fact that a 60-year-old in front of him literally has her leg wrapped around her head.

9:00: Doug is down for the first rest, breathing shallowly and trying to rest his heart rate.

9:10: He decides to get back up. His head is rested rather comfortably on his mat, or at least what he thinks is his mat until he realizes that it's actually his spongy, gel-soaked hair.

9:20: Joanna shifts gears in class, going to a much slower pace, longer-hold yoga. Doug thinks this will be much easier.

9:25: He realizes he was wrong.

9:28: Doug's water tastes like sweat.

9:30: During the frog pose, he rolls over on his side and pretends like he actually gets it.

9:40: More gross, sweaty water.

9:45: Okay, the heat really is killing him. He wants nothing more than to bolt out of class and run for the Thames River, submerging himself amongst the lingering ice and frozen turds.

9:50: Class is finally out! Joanna says that we can leave whenever we want, after a relaxing breathing session. Doug thinks "Screw that!" and bolts for the door.

10:00 More chit-chat with Joanna. Even afterwards, he's not entirely sure what they talked about, the rush of cooler air making him both dizzy and nauseous. And now he's wondering what the hell he can't spell the word "nauseous" anymore without Firefox telling him that it's spelled wrong 15 times.

10:30 At home, Doug passes out on the coach after filling back up on water, relieved that his yoga obligation is over for another year.

And thus went my second hot yoga experience. I really, really do love the way I feel afterwards, but the class is killer!

And yes, I will miss you Joanna. Hot yoga in Halifax next time, right?

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7 Outsider observations:

  • I really want to try yoga sometime! Everyone tells me it is really good for anxiety and panic issues.

    By Blogger Khristopher, at 4/13/2008 03:20:00 AM  

  • I really dig yoga. Especially in the privacy of my own home. I've never done hot yoga but hear that it is a bit rough. And after reading your description, I am fairly positive that you wouldn't be able to convince me to do it without some sort of large monetary compensation...

    By Anonymous Al, at 4/13/2008 10:36:00 AM  

  • Hot yoga is really one of those things that I dread the thought of doing, hate it while I'm doing it, but absolutely love the feeling afterwards. When you step out of that room, with the temperature hovering around 105F and high humidity thanks to the floating sweat particles of just about everybody, the feeling is amazing. And I feel better for days afterwards - sweating that much is like a toxic cleanse.

    Kris: Yes, they say it is. I think the reason why is that while you're doing the yoga, it's all you can think about. How hot it is, how hard it is, how much some of the poses hurt (although not in a bad way), how hard it is to breathe sometimes - it's the only thing you can focus on. Since I only do it once in a while, I'm not used to clearing my mind and the deep breathing exercises. Even so, I could feel myself letting go somewhat, and then not thinking about anything else until it was over.

    I also went to help with the anxiety issue, as, since the car accident, I've foolishly been having panic attacks from time to time. Why, I don't know, but it's the worst feeling in the world. It's the first time in two years I've had anxiety problems and I HATE it. It's better now, but I'm still not 100%.

    So, in conclusion, I definitely recommend the hot yoga. Here's a link to classes offered in Mississauga:

    By Blogger Doug, at 4/13/2008 12:42:00 PM  

  • I've always wanted to try that.

    Yoga is hard enough... hot yoga??? Ouch!

    I really bet it helps with flexiblity though.

    By Blogger Bridge, at 4/13/2008 11:16:00 PM  

  • Yoga is the only exercise I have ever done where I don't feel like walking crap afterward. :S

    By Blogger Loralee Choate, at 4/16/2008 10:13:00 PM  

  • Haha Dougie this made me giggle. I'm so glad you enjoyed (?) my class and yes, definitely in Halifax the next time!
    For everyone else, just try it! The heat is hard, yes, but it's sooooooo good. :)

    By Anonymous Joanna, at 5/05/2008 08:49:00 PM  

  • You write very well.

    By Anonymous Cherie, at 11/10/2008 07:03:00 PM  

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